MSNBC has posted this very funny break up letter from film critic Dave White to the Saw franchise. Here is an excerpt:
I remember our first date, “Saw.” You showed up on that tricycle and freaked me out. Then you made that guy from “Princess Bride” cut off his own foot. Then you got someone to go hide in a little kid’s bedroom closet and be a real live boogeyman.
The sexy do-or-die scenarios you rigged up were diabolical. You featured Monica Potter (an actress whose budget Julia Roberts-isms I find weirdly appealing). You were cheap and grainy and ugly and you rattled me. I had spooky dreams about you afterward, “Saw.” I knew it was love.
But you really blew it on the follow-through. You proved with each sequel that you were a one-trick doom-pony. The do-or-die setups remained somewhat interesting as the second and third and fourth remixes played on and on. But not always.
For example, what was with the hair-pulling machine in that last one? Hair-pulling? I can see meaner behavior on any Bravo reality show. Rachel Zoe, even without her squadron of crying assistants, could think up better ways to do someone in. Worse, it was clear that your heart wasn’t in it.
The urgency and evil glee that once informed your moralistic game-playing is on the wane, and your Halloweeny antics feels less and less compelling all the time. There’s nothing at stake anymore. Any random episode of Cartoon Network’s “Metalocalypse” has cooler deaths, funnier bloodshed and more narrative justification than you do.
And then you killed main baddie Jigsaw and it felt like you might go away gracefully and let me off the hook. But then you resurrected Jigsaw (sort of) and now you’ve decided to pursue these weird casting decisions: Luke from “Gilmore Girls?” What’s he going to do? Talk to me so fast my ears fall off?
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